im not into him but im into….

SIMPLY BECAUSE CHOCOLATES MAKES ME FEEL GOOD THAN HIM…THOUGH MR.OR KEEPS ME FIT CAUSE I NEED TO LOOK SEXY FOR HIM, BUT I STILL DO 2X MORE EXCERCISE FOR ME AND FOR THE CHOCOLATES…..

REASONS WHY I SHIFTED TO CHOCOLATES..I MAY SOUND SOUR GRAPING HERE BUT PLS DO BARE WITH ME…ITS JUST PART OF THE PROCESS…

Why Chocolate Makes Us Feel Good

Several more obscure chocolate ingredients seem to act by affecting the brain's own neurotransmitter network.Neurotransmitters are the chemical messengers of the brain. They work by transporting electrical signals between nerve cells. These signals cause changes in the sensations and emotions that we experience.

Hearty findings

Californian scientist Professor Carl Keen and his team have suggested that chocolate might help fight heart disease. They say that it contains chemicals called flavinoids, which thin the blood, helping to prevent clotting. Scientists have already suggested that red wine acts in this way.

Love drug?
 

Chocolate contains a natural 'love drug'. Tryptophan is a chemical that the brain uses to make a neurotransmitter called serotonin. High levels of serotonin can produce feelings of elation, even ecstasy - hence the name of the designer drug that also works by increasing serotonin levels.

Lust drug?

While tryptophan could be considered 'chocolate's ecstasy', another chemical called phenylethylamine has earned the nickname 'chocolate amphetamine.' High levels of this neurotransmitter help promote feelings of attraction, excitement, giddiness and apprehension. Phenylethylamine works by stimulating the brain's pleasure centres and reaches peak levels during orgasm.

empty

Im now back with my real self…Real as in unattach to anyone…unhappy, boring, all in gray……, nothing to look forward, loveless…..This is the typical me when not in love…Thats why before when i felt it il try to hold on to it…But as we all know nothing really is permanent..The only thing in me that can never be change is im a mother and has a son… I may be a bad mother for saying this but i dont really give much time to my son as of the moment because i felt like  theres a selfish part of me that wants to be alone…I've been a mother to him for like 3 yrs..3yrs for taking care of him ALONE with no Yaya.. NO yaya because thats what i wanted.. I dont like anyone to takecare of him except me.. But after 3 yrs things have changed, thats because i dont want him to be that dependent with me, and i want to prepare him for the coming school year.. Sometimes when im down i expect my son to give me comfort but i do get the opposite.. I felt like a battered mother, i dont know why his acting that way.. Its like its easy for him to kick, slap and punch at me..So silly for a 3 years old to that to his mother..HMMMM he just add up to my problem..  

Never Asked

I never asked you to call me,
Never asked to go with you that day.
That one night was perfect. We were one, but I
knew I'd be the one to pay.
I never asked you to make me feel good,
Never asked you to look my way.
It takes two to do what happened that night, so
there's nothing more you can say.
I never asked for you to care,
Never asked to be the only one.
I knew she was in your life too,
But still I thought I'd won.
I never asked for promises,
Never asked if I could put my trust in you.
I always though I could handle the things
you "so often" like to do.
I never asked you to turn away,
Never asked you to make me cry.
You go on with your life like nothing ever
Happened while I slowly start to die.
I never asked for this loneliness,
Never asked to be the one to blame.
You tried putting all the guilt on me while you
Were the one playing the mind game.
I never asked for this empty feeling,
Never asked you to be there.
While I sit here confused in my own little world,
All you can do is stare.
I never asked if you loved me,
Never asked you to take something special away.
I can't think straight and my heart aches, all
Because of that day.
I never asked for an explanation,
Never asked to be on your mind that day.
Even though I never asked you anything,
I'm broken hearted either way.

im sorry for being myself

here i am again..i know its all about him…i have your not tried of reading this stuff but please allow me to express what i feel…i was totally blank yesterday after letting go of him..after i told him that we both need some space much better we wont communicate..he  was shocked and was not expecting me to say it..he kept on asking why??? as if  he does not know any issues or problem  with our relationship..,,There was nothing..its just the time…His ALWAYS BUSY. And thats an Issue for me…After explaining it all to him…he asked if his allowed to text or call me..i insisted on telling him on not to try cause i might not be able to move on…and thats it! he just told me that he will wait until  il be okay and we might start all over again….huhuhuhuhu i started to miss him..its like today is my saddest day..i blame myself for this…a part of me says that i should not let go…i dont usually give up the guy that i like as long as the feelings is not over yet…and as long as he did not end it..yes i know an a marthyr type..but thats Me

Is It Time to Dump Him?

This won't come as news to women: Men aren't all that good about breaking up. Sometimes a man will half-heartedly try ("things just aren't clicking"). Sometimes a man will force you to make the first move ("well, if you think things aren't working out then"). Sometimes a man will stew in a bad relationship for years before actually having the guts to break it off. Why? For lots of reasons — one of them being that many men, even if they don't like the relationship anymore, don't want to be immortalized (to you and all your friends) as The Bad Guy. Not an excuse, but it's what men tend to do. When you consider a recent national survey showing 21 percent of men say they're on the lookout for a better relationship while they're in a relationship — then it's all the more important that women know the signs of a guy who's looking for the exit before he's even in the room

Dump-worthy: He ignores
Not dump-worthy: He doesn't listen

There is a difference. The way I see it, the guy who doesn't listen is the guy who spaces out on TV when a woman is asking if he liked that night's chili. A guy who doesn't listen is a guy who forgets to cap the toothpaste despite the fact he's been told 12 times in the last six days. Annoying? Sure. Deal-breakers? No. On the other hand, a guy who ignores is the kind of guy who always puts himself first by ignoring the things that are important to you-like chronically forgetting an anniversary or birthday, or not asking how a doctor's appointment went, or choosing his golf game over her family get-together. Once in a while may be fine, but when it happens all the time, it means that his priorities don't include you.

Dump-worthy: He has two cell phones (one of which you didn't know about)
Not dump-worthy: He won't tell you his password

Oh, if I had the surefire formula for catching a cheater, I'd be using 100-dollar bills as napkins. While cheating is, in many cases, the obvious relationship-ender, the trickier issue is gathering up the signs that a guy is indeed borrowing sugar from the neighbor. I will tell you this: A guy who's protecting his e-mail password isn't necessarily cheating; he just thinks that there still should be some semblance of his privacy (plus, he's not too keen on you seeing the internet photos his co-worker buddy may have sent over). But when a guy hasn't told you about an extra cell phone, it's a pretty likely sign that there's somebody calling it who darn well shouldn't be.

Dump-worthy: He won't apologize
Not dump-worthy: He goes silent

A man who clams up during a fight or a discussion isn't necessarily just trying to make you mad (though some are). He's thinking, he's debating, and he's being cautious about what he says — because he knows you're listening (and perhaps ready to pounce on his arguments). A guy will eventually open up, if you can give the issue some time to settle down, or even approach him in a setting where he's more comfortable talking (like the car). The real power play comes not from the silent treatment, but from a man who can't utter a "sorry"; that's not only a sign of stubbornness, but a sign he's not ready to give any ground. If he's not willing to show a little weakness early in the relationship, chances are it'll only grow worse as the relationship grows — if it even gets that far.

To Let GO

To let go…
Does not mean to stop caring
It means I cannot do it for someone else
It is not to cut myself off
It is the realization that I cannot control another.

To let go…
Is not to enable
But to allow learning from natural consequences
It is to admit powerlessness
Which means the outcome is not in my hands
 

To let go…
Is not to try to change or blame another
I can only change myself
It is not to care for
But to care about.

 
To let go…
Is not to fix
But to be supportive
It is not to judge
But to allow another to be a human being.

 
To let go…
Is not to be in the middle arranging the outcome
But to allow others to effect their own outcome
It is not to be protective
It is to permit another to face their reality.

 

To let go…
Is not to deny, but to accept
Is not to nag, scold, or argue
But to search out my own shortcomings
And try to correct them.

 
To let go…
Is not to adjust everything to my desires
But to take each day as it comes
Is not to criticize or regulate anyone
But to try to become whatever dream I can be.

 
To let go…
Is not to regret the past
But to grow and live for the future
Is to fear less
And learn to love more.

 
And since I do love you
So I will let you go!

Goodbye Mr.OR

This time around i will confront him about "US" i know its not good to confront him cause its like im sweeping him away from me, ive been trying to understand him, but as ive  said before everytime i want it off he always asked me to stay…STAY???! for what???! thats what ive been thinking about…his just good with words but no actions..havent seen any effort that he have excerted. Mr. OR is a resident anesthesiologist, they must be good with words or making a person feel comfortable right before the operation..maybe his applying techniques on me..which works pretty well…That must be one of the reason im stranded with this kind of relationship (FULL OF LIP SERVICE) Im planning to end it and move forward…his been so unfair. Its like a one sided relationship..ive told him about my past relationship before and how stupid i am to go for that kind of guys..but as days past ive realized that Mr. OR and my ex's are alike… No wonder i like him..I hate myself for giving time…my all for that type of guys…I must fix myself before entering a new one..if not il just love myself more..And i wont allow any GUYS to hurt me again…i think its time for me to sing the song "IRREPLACEABLE" by Beyonce I really love the lyrics of that song" youve got me twisted..you must not know about me..i can have another you in a minute" i can have another you by tomorrow…Since im not youre everything how about il be nothing ..Nothing without you, I wont shed a tear for you….i wont lose a wink of sleep…………..replacing you is just so EASY!" Well i hope its EASY for me..GOODLUCK to myself then…i hope il be brave enough to talk about ending it tomorrow…..

Eleven New Ways To Increase Your Self-Esteem!

 Stick to your Values: Don't violate your own value system. Write down your values and beliefs–and then work hard to stick by them. Nothing can destroy self-esteem like violation of your own beliefs, creeds and values. 

 Listen To Your Conscience: If you feel something is wrong, don't do it. Stop ignoring the internal voices that knows when you are doing wrong. Pay attention.

* Emulate Who You Admire: Who do you admire most? Why do you admire this person or persons? Once you pinpoint the actions and/or qualities that you so admire, emulate them. Often we admire those who mirror what we wish we could be.

* Refuse To Be Mistreated: Do you continually let yourself be mistreated? Do you allow yourself to be a helpless victim? Stop putting aside your dignity and self-respect. Walk away from people who only mistreat and don't really care about you.

* Do One Thing You Fear Each Day: Every day, break through the barriers of fear that prevent you from doing and being all you are capable of. Challenge yourself each day to confront a fear and face it down. You'll be surprised how quickly walls come down when you run towards, rather than away, from your fears.

* Treat Others With Love: Just as you should refuse to be mistreated, you also need to refuse to mistreat others. Make it a habit to treat others–even those you dislike–with love. Make the act of love a part of your daily life.

* Educate Yourself: There is no need to feel stupid about anything, when there are thousands of books available at libraries and bookstores on any subject imaginable. Start reading. Read about the topics that interest you. Set out to educate yourself through books.

* Let Go Of Shame: Do you hear the voice of shame constantly putting you down and scolding you? Often, we have feelings of shame leftover from childhood. Get in touch your shame. Listen to it, and then firmly ask it to leave. Tell it that its job of keeping in line is over. Fire shame–tell shame that its services are no longer needed. Silence that voice forever. You don't deserve to be ashamed.

* Forgive Yourself: Yes, you've done lots of stupid things. Yes, you've goofed up big time. Now forgive yourself. Bestow upon yourself the healing power of forgiveness. Embrace your humanity–even the parts of you that are not perfect. Tell yourself it is okay to not be perfect.

* Talk Nicely To Yourself: Do you practice verbal self-abuse? Do you bombard yourself with negative and pessimistic thoughts? Do you constantly berate and shame yourself? Stop–stop now. Start talking to yourself as you would a precious child. Talk to yourself like you are a child who deserves to be given love, honor, respect and dignity. Be polite with yourself. Treat yourself as kindly as you would the person you love best in this world.

* Celebrate Your Mistakes: Stop worrying about your mistakes. Mistakes are part of life. We learn from our mistakes. Mistakes are the stepping stones to success. Rather than letting mistakes tarnish your self-esteem, allow your mistakes to enpower you.

Characteristics of the Noncomitting Man

 He pulls back when you want more of a commitment

* Other aspects of life take priority over you

* He puts little work into the relationship

* When you show less interest, he pursues you.

* He makes excuses for not being involved in a single relationship

* He's charming and fun to be around

* He is always involved with several women or overlapping relationships

* He likes to be entertained rather than spending quiet times together

* He never answers his phone in the evenings because he's out chasing skirts

* He is secretive about the details of his life

* If the phone rings when you are at his house, he lets the answering machine pick it up

* He seems to get his emotional needs met elsewhere

* You catch him in "white" lies

i must follow what i feel

Lastnight i should have not ignored his text..ive been so cold with him lately because he dont spend enough time for me..But that shouldnt be the case, since im free this summer then it should be me who would adjust his time..one should give way or understand once partner in order for it to last…Well with this relationship that were having, i know its impossible for it to last but still im holding on with it, cause that person still brightens and fill in my days…He explained everything and thats good enough for me…i promise myself to be more understanding with this guy…every time i decided to let go he kept on giving me reasons to stay…and as of the moment il stay as long as we both wants to…and with regards about friends, this time i wont be open to them about my personal life especially if it deals with man…cause they kept on giving me unsolicited advice which unconsciously runs into my mind…they generalized all MEN, i still i do believed that not all MEN are the same…to some but not to all.And besides some friends are not really sincere with the advice they gave..some just envy and would want others to suffer with the life that they are having…