empty
April 16, 2007Im now back with my real self…Real as in unattach to anyone…unhappy, boring, all in gray……, nothing to look forward, loveless…..This is the typical me when not in love…Thats why before when i felt it il try to hold on to it…But as we all know nothing really is permanent..The only thing in me that can never be change is im a mother and has a son… I may be a bad mother for saying this but i dont really give much time to my son as of the moment because i felt like theres a selfish part of me that wants to be alone…I've been a mother to him for like 3 yrs..3yrs for taking care of him ALONE with no Yaya.. NO yaya because thats what i wanted.. I dont like anyone to takecare of him except me.. But after 3 yrs things have changed, thats because i dont want him to be that dependent with me, and i want to prepare him for the coming school year.. Sometimes when im down i expect my son to give me comfort but i do get the opposite.. I felt like a battered mother, i dont know why his acting that way.. Its like its easy for him to kick, slap and punch at me..So silly for a 3 years old to that to his mother..HMMMM he just add up to my problem.. 
Take care anyways..